Humor can combat any adversity – even if you lost your job.
First let me tell you a quick story… Henry Ford was furious. He was called ‘an ignorant pacifist’ in a Chicago newspaper editorial during World War I. He brought suit against the newspaper. During the proceedings, attorneys for the newspaper tried to prove that Mr. Ford was, indeed, ignorant. “How many soldiers did the British send over to America to quell the rebellion in 1776?” an attorney asked. Angry with this preposterous question, but in total command of his emotions, Ford responded, “I don’t know the exact number of soldiers the British sent to America, but I understand that is was considerably more than the number that returned.”
Humor can change the way you and your clients feel instantly. Many times, in the midst of fear, adversity, and some of life’s most difficult challenges, someone says a funny one-liner or witticism that breaks the ice for everyone.
“I’m always ready to learn although I do not always like to be taught.”
Winston Churchill
“The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time”
Abraham Lincoln
“When you’re green, you’re growing; and when you’re ripe, you start to rot.”
Ray Kroc
“Gosh, I think it’s déjà vu all over again”
Yogi Berra
“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
Harry S. Truman
“He who laughs last… didn’t get the joke.”
Carroll Bryan
Just by asking the question “What is funny about this?” can change emotions instantly. It’s a technique that can be used at any time to diminish fear and anxiety so we can address our troubles in a more positive and constructive manner.
Two of Life’s Greatest Pains
Two of life’s greatest pains are the loss of a loved one and the loss of a job. We can make many parallels between the two where the centerpiece of both is anguish, grief, and fear. Over the years, I’ve been exposed to friends and family members who have lost jobs and others who have passed on. And what I’ve discovered is that a few chuckles in the midst of adversity can bridge the ‘awkwardness gap.’ Shared laughter is a significant healing intervention.
A hospice patient, who was very near death, refused to eat. She said she wanted to die. The following day, she once again announced to her family that she wanted to die and again refused food. Another day passed without her demise and again she refused to eat. This went on for several days. Then one day she arose from her bed and joined her family at the breakfast table. The family members were surprised, to say the least, and wanted to know why she was joining them for breakfast after so many days of not eating. The frail elderly lady turned to her audience and answered, “Who wants to die on an empty stomach?”
Gilda’s ‘Seriously Funny Book’
There were the zany characters on Saturday Night Live like lisping Baba Wawa, loudmouthed Roseanne Roseannadana (my personal favorite), and the confused Emily Litella. Everything about Gilda Radner, from her quick wit to her wide grin, worked to make us smile – if not incite the ultimate belly laughs! Just looking at her, along with her comedian-husband Gene Wilder, made you wonder how they ever got through a meal together without convulsions of laughter. So I was pained to learn that she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in October of 1986. Though it’s been more than 25 years since her death, Gilda remains an example on how to best live life when life is dealing its most horrific and painful blows.
Gilda effectively used humor to deal with her own runaway fears and emotions. Humor allowed her to deal with her disease and dis-ease so she could make the most out of every day. In other words, Gilda used humor to find happiness in the midst of chaos, fear, and uncertainty. In fact, she authored a book entitled, It’s Always Something. The book was a story about her life and her battle with cancer. She wrote the following just months before she died:
“I started out writing a book called A Portrait of the Artist as a Housewife. I wanted to write a collection of stories, poems, and vignettes about things like my toaster oven and my relationships with plumbers, mailmen, and delivery people. But life dealt me a much more complicated story. Cancer is probably the most unfunny thing in the world, but I am a comedienne and even cancer could not stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through. So I am sharing with you what I call a seriously funny book; one that confirms my father’s favorite expression about life: It’s always something.
It’s Always Something
Gilda’s father was correct. Life assures us that week-to-week, day-to-day, and hour-to-hour, something will eventually and inevitably upset our applecart. Whether a person loses a job, fails to secure a promotion, or experiences any career setbacks, we can learn from those who have had to deal with these and even greater setbacks – like death. All too often, when dealing with life’s tough stuff, we lose our sense of humor and make difficult situations worse.
Gilda, in her own words, explains the underlying reason for writing the book in the first place.
“I had wanted to wrap this book up in a neat little package – about a girl who is a comedienne from Detroit; becomes famous in New York with all the world coming her way; gets this horrible disease of cancer; is brave and fights it; learning all the skills she needs to get through it; and then miraculously, things neatly tie up and she gets well.
I wanted to write on the book jacket, ‘her triumph over cancer,’ or ‘she wins the cancer war;’ I wanted a perfect ending. So I sat down to write the book with the ending in place before there even was an ending.”
Gilda wrote her book with the reasonable expectation that she could control the ending. She could not. She died on May 20, 1989 at the age of 42, just a few months before the book was published. No doubt, Gilda was fearless in her quest to deal with and overcome ovarian cancer; and used humor to make the very best of the time she had left. It’s a lesson we all need to learn or be reminded of. And one we need to communicate to our clients, as well.
Great American Smoke Out YouTube Video: Roseanne Roseannadanna:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/4147
2 Situations Using Humor to Better Face Life’s Adversities
Situation 1
After a long day at the office, John comes home tired with dozens of problems still to resolve at his work. As soon as he enters the house, he finds that his son, Greg, needs help with his homework. This is the last thing John needs to hear. He begins to lose his cool and feels overwhelmed. How can John use humor to deal with the emotions that are about to get the best of him?
Using Humor: As soon as John enters the house, he realizes he is about to lose it. With this self-realization, he immediately asks his wife and son for a half hour of ‘alone time’ before he helps Greg with his homework. John proceeds to the den and turns on the TV to watch a half hour Seinfeld sitcom. The humor is relaxing and helps him calm down. After 30 minutes of humor, John’s attitude is rejuvenated. He can now work with his son and then constructively on his own issues in full emotional control.
Situation 2
After 22 years of loyal service, Mary was downsized by her employer. Naturally, she was dismayed, fearful and, truth be told, humiliated. She was in emotional turmoil and depression began to set in.
Using Humor: Mary became aware that she wasentering a dangerously negative emotional state and decided to change her mindset to resolve her situation. She purchased the book, The Dilbert Principle, and laughed continuously as she read the many stories about incompetent managers and employers. She immediately felt better. Though she still had real job-related concerns, Mary was able to better manage her emotions to approach her challenges in a more constructive manner. In a healthier state of mind, Mary hired a career coach and began working on her resume and job campaign, confident she would land a new job quickly.
Life is a constant battle to stay positive in the wake of negativity and adversity; to remain calm, happy, and engaged even when the going gets tough. Humor does NOT make tough situations disappear. Humor does allow us to meet the tough stuff in a more productive and constructive manner.
If, indeed, laughter is the best medicine in times of despair and anguish… it’s my first line of attack in meeting my own challenges – and helping my clients to meet theirs.